I wish I could teleport
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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