she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize