It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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