a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
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The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
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On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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