Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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