I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
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You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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