better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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