I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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