my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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