I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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