He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize