blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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