At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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