yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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