ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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