You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize