Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize