I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize