sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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