I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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