He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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