The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
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I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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