I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
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just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
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Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize