party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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