I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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