I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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