No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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