It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
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i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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