Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize