that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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