AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize