like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize