your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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