dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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