Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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