I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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