I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize