I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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