i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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