R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize