Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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