I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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