I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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