No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize