I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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