if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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