I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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