Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I need help removing her.

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(919): I need help removing her. http://tfl.nu/mzqp

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124

Replies (22) Good night (4533) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.

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(856): Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend. http://tfl.nu/zfxw

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(803): View more from South Carolina

For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...

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(803): For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer... http://tfl.nu/txcz

Replies (20) Good night (4427) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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(330): View more from Ohio

The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

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(330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok

Replies (35) Good night (15231) Bad night (1118)
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(713): View more from Texas

Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.

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(713): Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming. http://tfl.nu/lyy1

Replies (27) Good night (2719) Bad night (1504) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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(303): you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you http://tfl.nu/wspo

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(205): View more from Alabama

he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

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(205): he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off... http://tfl.nu/kran

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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(203): I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis. http://tfl.nu/m2ek

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(906): View more from Michigan

it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.

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(906): it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something. http://tfl.nu/su0x

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(217): View more from Illinois

he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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(217): he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon... http://tfl.nu/u7gi

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?

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(919): He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ? http://tfl.nu/856o

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(330): View more from Ohio

This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.

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(330): This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs. http://tfl.nu/3hwl

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(+61): View more from Australia

He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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(+61): He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/a1rb

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(586): View more from Michigan

Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......

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(586): Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet...... http://tfl.nu/yh71

Replies (3) Good night (189) Bad night (483) Order T-Shirt

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