Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Princesses don't give blow jobs
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
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