dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
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I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize